Faith has been sleeping all day, even without sedation. Her blood pressure dropped and she received a transfusion which did help.
It doesn't seem like all the medical team is on the same page as to what to do with Faith...essentially if there is hope or not. It is very confusing and scary. I say scary because of the bleeding issue and what her death could end up looking like. For those of you that know me and how my past year has been, you understand. I took care of my mom until her last breath and she did not pass peacefully. I have so much anxiety about having that happen again and I think it clouds my judgement.
If there is that inch of hope, how do you not hold on to that? However, if holding on to that means that she won't pass peacefully because of it.....because we waited to long.......i just don't know.
Monty is completely broken hearted and is really holding on to that bit of hope. Maybe I am feeling it is unrealistic, but what if I am wrong? I don't want to keep delaying the inevitable, but I don't want to turn my back on that little window of possible hope either. I am incredibly confused and so tired. I have never had this kind of exhaustion take over me since it is so many types of weariness. I pray for a clear answer. I pray for an answer soon. I pray I get it so I can do what is best for my baby girl.
Shelly,
ReplyDeleteWe don't know each other. I hear you - don't know what you are going through - not nearly. I do know that what happens with Faith does not rest in a right or wrong decision on your part, we simply don't have that much power. Either way, any way, God holds Faith, her life, her time, her hand, her heart. He is Sovereign. All ultimate deisions are His. Forgive my boldness. Whatever you do God knows you do out of love and seek to honour Him. He honours your call, and His will, will be done. Rest in that. You are loved and you are all the mom God has called you to be - He is glorified. May all be well with your soul.
Unceasing in prayer for His little one Faith, and yours. Praise be to God.
Jackie Lipuma
Jackie - you said it beautifully! After reading your post, I was going to say basically the same thing. God is sovereign - whetever we do or don't do, honestly, doesn't matter. My mother was in a coma for over a month, the doctors had given up all hope - my father had made the decision to take her off of life support - we went in to say goodbye, and she opened her eyes for the first time in a month. I saw a miracle happen in front of my eyes. It didn't matter what the doctors were doing, it didn't matter what choices we had made, God decided that this was not the time. He could have said it was time, but it didn't matter what we did - He was in charge. So please don't burden yourself with guilt in the decisions you make, just seek guidance from God and from the doctors, and take it a day at a time. God has little Faith in His precious hands, and His timing is perfect, we are just along for the ride.
ReplyDeleteShelly and Monty-From one parent to another..you both are doing the best that you can in light of the situation. I agree with the other two posts..it will be God's decision. Neither of you have anything to feel guilty about, you are excellent parents. God is the only one who decides how much time one has..not doctors. Pray to him for guidance. I pray to him several times a day asking for a miracle with Faith.
ReplyDeleteLynne B
Shelly and Monty,Follow your Hearts... God and Faith will lead the way...God and Faith have lead the way all along.... We are praying for strenth for all,moment to moment...Prayers and more prayers.....Barbara and Nick. NH.
ReplyDeleteGod's hold is secure, you may not feel it, but know that God's is with you and we're here for you. Praying for and thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteDear Shelly and Monty,
ReplyDeleteThis is Lindsay Busk. I am sitting here now with tear stained cheeks and can barely see the screen. I want you to know how much I love your little, precious Faith. What a blessing she has been in my life! Every day that she was in our classroom, for the past two years, she brought joy that lit up the room. I will come soon to visit, probably within the next couple days. I am praying for a miracle. May God give you peace and strength to both of you and the rest of the family.
Love,
Lindsay Busk
Shelly and Monty,
ReplyDeleteWe don't know one another but I just wanted you to know that my whole family has been praying for you and your Faith. I have followed your story through a friend and just wanted you to know that your in my thoughts daily. I just wanted to reach out and send you a hug. (*Huuuuuuggggggsssss*) Your such a strong person and a wonderful mom.
Elle
One more comment from someone who has not met you but has been so touched by your strength and faith. I think about your family and your Faith many times a day. Perhaps the knowledge that she has touched so many hearts gives you some peace during these difficult times. I continue to pray for you all.
ReplyDelete