A date is confirmed for Faith's service. It will be on Saturday, June 27th. The time, however, is not confirmed yet but will either be at 11am or 1pm. Hope that helps allow people to coordinate their weekend somewhat.
Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I cried pretty much the entire day. My eyes were so puffy they could barely open. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest....it wanted to burst out and find my Faithy. My poor kids were so worried and Andrew, the youngest now, wrote a letter to Faith telling her how much mommy was crying. As much as you want to protect your children, in times like this it is impossible to suppress your feelings. And I guess it is not that bad of a thing for your kids to know you are human...you can feel sad, angry, glad, happy, etc. Life has its ups and downs. No one is immune to them and no one is perfect, definitely not me.
I think it was such a horrible day because I was in anticipation of today. Today I picked up Faith. And you know...I haven't cried (yet)...meaning I haven't cried TODAY...I've definitely cried away too many other days. But, it made me feel good to bring her home. Bring her back to the people that love her and the people and home that she loved so much. I picked her up with my kids and they all took turns holding her while we went on errands. We kept saying that Faithy was getting to do her favorite thing "go bye, bye in the car". We smiled, we laughed about funny things she said and did. It was good and maybe this will be a little start to our healing.
*by the way, if anyone needs a funeral home: We used Chapel of the Hills and they were WONDERFUL to us. No pressure, cost seemed reasonable and the presentation of getting Faith's remains was beautiful. They had her on a pedestal in the chapel with candles glowing and a red rose over her urn. I don't think it could have been handled better.
I cannot imagine your pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers during this terrible loss of sweet Faith. May God help you with your grief.
ReplyDeleteSuzy (Tanners mom)
My heart just ached as I read your post....and you're right, it's good to cry. You're entitled to that, it's part of the healing process. I'm here for you and I'm grieving alongside you. If there is anything I can do for you, you know where to find me. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you. Psalms 56:8 says "Do put my tears in your skin bottle. Are they not in your book?" Yes Gos knows the tears you are shedding. He will soon do what is said at Revelation 21:4 and Isaiah 26:19. Take comfort in each other and in your memories. Let those who love you help you get through the difficult times ahead.
ReplyDeleteI've only known Faith through the blogs you've written, but my heart is broken over your loss. She has gained so much, but I know for you she has left so much behind. What a beautiful girl who has already touched so many lives in just five years. Most people can't even do that in a lifetime. Please know your family is in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteRachel
Dear Shelly,
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you for sharing your experience in the PICU with Faith. It was enlightening to read a parent's perspective of what you go through during your stay. I will encourage the staff to read it also. It brought back a lot of memories of taking care of Faith and everything she went through. She fought so hard. I miss you and Monty and hope you both are doing as well as you can at this time. Please take care.
Mary Pat