Thursday, April 1, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Judgement
So tomorrow I have my licensing person coming out for inspection to reinstate my foster care license. I don't even understand why it was put on hold in the first place, but I have finally felt like opening back up and seeing what comes my way. I am very nervous about tomorrow because there is so much judgement involved. They come in and judge the way your home looks and have the right to judge you as a person when they don't really know you. Luckily, this is the person I have had for the past 10 years, but it is still frightening to think someone has your future in their hands.
I have met some resistance to my wanting to take children before a year from Faith's passing. It is strange to me to think that they truly think people will magically be "better"after a year..whatever "better" is. It will be nine months since Faith passed away next week and to be perfectly honest, some things are harder. Like I have said before, in ways it becomes a bit easier with time because you realize you have to accept that you will be living with this pain; but..yes, some things are harder to deal with! I feel her absence more now. I feel more lonely not having my special sidekick. Basically I FEEL what life is like without her instead of that nice sense of shock that carries you through initially.
I do understand the year in a way. You need time to let that shock wear off. You need time to know what you are actually feeling and you need time to learn to cope. However, grief is life long. It will never go away and it will be a continued process of dealing with the hole left in your heart. A continuing process of healing that will be with you until the day you die. But, in my opinion, it is up to the person and family to know when they feel ready or not to start "living" again. Everyone grieves differently. Differently or not, it doesn't change the fact that it is forever. We all learn to ACCEPT at different times and you can not tell someone when that will be. There is no right or wrong answer. No timeline will help guide you to that place. It could be a month, 6 months, 10 months, 10 years, 20 years, never. It is all an individual process. Period. No judgement should be allowed for a very personal experience. It goes back to the age old saying, "don't judge someone without walking in their shoes".
Some people have said maybe the year is to ensure you don't try to replace Faith. How is it humanly possible to replace someone???? It absolutely is not. I would NEVER try to replace her. Faith was one of a kind, as are we all. Faith was my soul mate (no I don't believe it has to be your husband :) ). Faith and I had this bond that I don't know if I will ever share with another in this lifetime. I am grateful for that experience. Grateful for the time I had with her and to have that unique connection. So there is no way I would ever try to "replace" her. It is not possible.
The way I see it, though, is that I am still here for some reason. I still have love to give and a home to share. My kids and my husband have been ready to share it for some time now. They have been waiting for me to be ready. I finally feel up to exploring the possibilities of that with someone who needs it. I will try to be careful and smart about who we accept into our lives. My priorities have changed. I used to be this person that had to be super busy ALL the time. I thrived on it. Through the loss of Faith, and being forced to slow down and I have learned the value of that. I no longer want to be that busy. I want to make sure I have adequate time to dedicate to everyone.
With that being said, I still have my A type personality that likes to have a lot to do, likes to be organized and likes a large family to run. The difference I have now, the things I have learned over the past 9 months, is not to be SO busy or SO overwhelmed that you miss the small things. You miss pillow talk with your daughter or throwing the ball with your son. That will hopefully carry over and help us in making a good match for our family.
I am not in a hurry. I want what is meant to be for us. I firmly believe that God will make that happen. If there is someone meant to be with us nothing will be able to get in the way of that. I also believe that my mom and Faith will be working their magic to make it work out as well. Hopefully showing me the signs that allow me to know the path I am to take. :)
So, we shall see. In the meantime wish us luck tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes.
I have met some resistance to my wanting to take children before a year from Faith's passing. It is strange to me to think that they truly think people will magically be "better"after a year..whatever "better" is. It will be nine months since Faith passed away next week and to be perfectly honest, some things are harder. Like I have said before, in ways it becomes a bit easier with time because you realize you have to accept that you will be living with this pain; but..yes, some things are harder to deal with! I feel her absence more now. I feel more lonely not having my special sidekick. Basically I FEEL what life is like without her instead of that nice sense of shock that carries you through initially.
I do understand the year in a way. You need time to let that shock wear off. You need time to know what you are actually feeling and you need time to learn to cope. However, grief is life long. It will never go away and it will be a continued process of dealing with the hole left in your heart. A continuing process of healing that will be with you until the day you die. But, in my opinion, it is up to the person and family to know when they feel ready or not to start "living" again. Everyone grieves differently. Differently or not, it doesn't change the fact that it is forever. We all learn to ACCEPT at different times and you can not tell someone when that will be. There is no right or wrong answer. No timeline will help guide you to that place. It could be a month, 6 months, 10 months, 10 years, 20 years, never. It is all an individual process. Period. No judgement should be allowed for a very personal experience. It goes back to the age old saying, "don't judge someone without walking in their shoes".
Some people have said maybe the year is to ensure you don't try to replace Faith. How is it humanly possible to replace someone???? It absolutely is not. I would NEVER try to replace her. Faith was one of a kind, as are we all. Faith was my soul mate (no I don't believe it has to be your husband :) ). Faith and I had this bond that I don't know if I will ever share with another in this lifetime. I am grateful for that experience. Grateful for the time I had with her and to have that unique connection. So there is no way I would ever try to "replace" her. It is not possible.
The way I see it, though, is that I am still here for some reason. I still have love to give and a home to share. My kids and my husband have been ready to share it for some time now. They have been waiting for me to be ready. I finally feel up to exploring the possibilities of that with someone who needs it. I will try to be careful and smart about who we accept into our lives. My priorities have changed. I used to be this person that had to be super busy ALL the time. I thrived on it. Through the loss of Faith, and being forced to slow down and I have learned the value of that. I no longer want to be that busy. I want to make sure I have adequate time to dedicate to everyone.
With that being said, I still have my A type personality that likes to have a lot to do, likes to be organized and likes a large family to run. The difference I have now, the things I have learned over the past 9 months, is not to be SO busy or SO overwhelmed that you miss the small things. You miss pillow talk with your daughter or throwing the ball with your son. That will hopefully carry over and help us in making a good match for our family.
I am not in a hurry. I want what is meant to be for us. I firmly believe that God will make that happen. If there is someone meant to be with us nothing will be able to get in the way of that. I also believe that my mom and Faith will be working their magic to make it work out as well. Hopefully showing me the signs that allow me to know the path I am to take. :)
So, we shall see. In the meantime wish us luck tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Hawaii
We had a fabulous time in Hawaii!!!! We went whale watching, went on a submarine, attended a luau and, of course, spent lots of time swimming. The weather was a perfect temp. of 80....how do you beat that? We really did not want to come home!
It was hard holding it together on the plane ride home because home is reality and who wants that???? Home is a reminder of what isn't here and I didn't want to come back to that. However, as hard as it is...I know I can't deny reality and have to face it.
This week has been a big week for me. I have been shown that I have made progress even though it doesn't feel like it. Here is how:
A couple of months ago I was asked by a friend of mine if I would be interested in taking a two year old little girl that might go up for adoption. The child's circumstances made it so that she would need to move homes in Jan. or Feb, which was perfect for me because it would be after my trip to Hawaii. So, this friend of mine was going to call me once the social worker knew when they were going to move the child. Anyway, what ended up happening was this friend decided to take the little girl into her home instead. I know that sounds messed up to some.....it is what it is.....but the thing that I am happy to report is that I am actually sad that it didn't work out! I know it sounds crazy to say that you are happy to be sad, but it is major progress for me!!!
Up until this week, I didn't care about having any other children in my home. I had no interest. I had been asked about other children and I had no desire to take them in. I have been simply existing in this fog like world and have not felt like opening my heart or my home. The situation with me not getting this little girl...me being disappointed that it didn't work out...shows me that I am ready again. That is huge progress! I actually might be ready to open myself up again! I feel ready to give someone a good home and the love they deserve. I might not have realized that without this situation occuring.
I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I guess I was not meant to be this girl's mommy and the right kiddo will be brought to me eventually. If I look back on the choices I made prior to getting Faith, it just solidifies that those choices happened for a reason. Those choices happened to allow me to take Faith into my home. It was absolutely meant to be. We were meant to be together. And even with this awful pain I live with, I would do it all over again. I am glad those choices occured so that I could have Faith. 100%.
So, now knowing I am ready to open my heart and home I will patiently wait for fate to do its work. I had forgotten how much I LOVE to give kids a home. I had forgotten how much I LOVE to take care of them. I am happy this love has returned to me. Progress!!!!! :)
It was hard holding it together on the plane ride home because home is reality and who wants that???? Home is a reminder of what isn't here and I didn't want to come back to that. However, as hard as it is...I know I can't deny reality and have to face it.
This week has been a big week for me. I have been shown that I have made progress even though it doesn't feel like it. Here is how:
A couple of months ago I was asked by a friend of mine if I would be interested in taking a two year old little girl that might go up for adoption. The child's circumstances made it so that she would need to move homes in Jan. or Feb, which was perfect for me because it would be after my trip to Hawaii. So, this friend of mine was going to call me once the social worker knew when they were going to move the child. Anyway, what ended up happening was this friend decided to take the little girl into her home instead. I know that sounds messed up to some.....it is what it is.....but the thing that I am happy to report is that I am actually sad that it didn't work out! I know it sounds crazy to say that you are happy to be sad, but it is major progress for me!!!
Up until this week, I didn't care about having any other children in my home. I had no interest. I had been asked about other children and I had no desire to take them in. I have been simply existing in this fog like world and have not felt like opening my heart or my home. The situation with me not getting this little girl...me being disappointed that it didn't work out...shows me that I am ready again. That is huge progress! I actually might be ready to open myself up again! I feel ready to give someone a good home and the love they deserve. I might not have realized that without this situation occuring.
I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I guess I was not meant to be this girl's mommy and the right kiddo will be brought to me eventually. If I look back on the choices I made prior to getting Faith, it just solidifies that those choices happened for a reason. Those choices happened to allow me to take Faith into my home. It was absolutely meant to be. We were meant to be together. And even with this awful pain I live with, I would do it all over again. I am glad those choices occured so that I could have Faith. 100%.
So, now knowing I am ready to open my heart and home I will patiently wait for fate to do its work. I had forgotten how much I LOVE to give kids a home. I had forgotten how much I LOVE to take care of them. I am happy this love has returned to me. Progress!!!!! :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Birthday Faithy! Look for our balloons. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Years, 2010
A new year. Wow. I must admit that I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, this year was horrible and I am ready to move on from it. On the other hand, it was the last year with my daughter and it is hard for me to separate from it.
January marks seven months without my Faith. I miss her everyday. I miss her crooked smile, her laugh, her voice, her smell....it hasn't gotten any easier. However, I will say that the anger and guilt are starting to lesson and the dark cloud that has been over my head is starting to rise. I am starting to want to put myself out there: volunteer at the hospital, volunteer at the kid's school, help other grieving families, adopt again, possibly go back to school myself. I have to believe there was a purpose for all of this and it is leading me somewhere. With the black cloud that has been following me around, I have been incapable of any sense of direction. With it lifting, perhaps I will see the path I am to follow. That is my hope for 2010.
We are starting our new year off right by heading to Hawaii! We will be leaving on what would have been Faith's sixth birthday, January 17th. We will release our yellow balloons to her on one of Maui's beautiful beaches. It will be special, just like her.
Hawaii will be the start of a year of continued healing and renewed hope in life. It will be a year of strengthening my relationship with myself, my husband, my extended family and the children that are here.
I know Faith wants us to be happy. I know she would want us to be strong and work on loving each other. Just like in my previous post, we need to live in honor of her name:
F = Family. Always put family first.
A = Acceptance. Accept what you have been given in life. Just like the Serenity prayer;
Accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can and wisdom to know the difference. I have to accept that Faith and my mom are not here. I can't change that or other things in life that are beyond my control. However, I can change my reaction to them. I do have control over that.
Also, accept people for who they are. You cannot change people. Again, all you can do is have control over your reactions to them.
So, Accept that we are all flawed. Everyone has shortcomings and allow for some mistakes. Once you accept people "as is", it makes things so much easier. No expectations.
I = Integrity. Live your life with integrity. Stand up for what you believe in, even if difficult. Be responsible for your own actions and for your own character. Make your own choices. Do what you believe is right for you and your loved ones.
T = Trust. You HAVE to trust yourself and the ones you love. Live your life in a way that allows others to trust you completely. Trust is a key component to any relationship.
H = Happiness. Faith had happiness through all adversity. She was a true example of how to live life and love life! With her example, we need to make ourselves happy and do our best to make other's happy. Being happy is the best way to honor Faith.
Faith was the best thing to ever happen to me. I want to finish my time here living my life in this way, in honor of her name and what she represented. I will try my best to make her proud. I will try until my time on Earth is over and I get to see my baby again!
Shelly
January marks seven months without my Faith. I miss her everyday. I miss her crooked smile, her laugh, her voice, her smell....it hasn't gotten any easier. However, I will say that the anger and guilt are starting to lesson and the dark cloud that has been over my head is starting to rise. I am starting to want to put myself out there: volunteer at the hospital, volunteer at the kid's school, help other grieving families, adopt again, possibly go back to school myself. I have to believe there was a purpose for all of this and it is leading me somewhere. With the black cloud that has been following me around, I have been incapable of any sense of direction. With it lifting, perhaps I will see the path I am to follow. That is my hope for 2010.
We are starting our new year off right by heading to Hawaii! We will be leaving on what would have been Faith's sixth birthday, January 17th. We will release our yellow balloons to her on one of Maui's beautiful beaches. It will be special, just like her.
Hawaii will be the start of a year of continued healing and renewed hope in life. It will be a year of strengthening my relationship with myself, my husband, my extended family and the children that are here.
I know Faith wants us to be happy. I know she would want us to be strong and work on loving each other. Just like in my previous post, we need to live in honor of her name:
F = Family. Always put family first.
A = Acceptance. Accept what you have been given in life. Just like the Serenity prayer;
Accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can and wisdom to know the difference. I have to accept that Faith and my mom are not here. I can't change that or other things in life that are beyond my control. However, I can change my reaction to them. I do have control over that.
Also, accept people for who they are. You cannot change people. Again, all you can do is have control over your reactions to them.
So, Accept that we are all flawed. Everyone has shortcomings and allow for some mistakes. Once you accept people "as is", it makes things so much easier. No expectations.
I = Integrity. Live your life with integrity. Stand up for what you believe in, even if difficult. Be responsible for your own actions and for your own character. Make your own choices. Do what you believe is right for you and your loved ones.
T = Trust. You HAVE to trust yourself and the ones you love. Live your life in a way that allows others to trust you completely. Trust is a key component to any relationship.
H = Happiness. Faith had happiness through all adversity. She was a true example of how to live life and love life! With her example, we need to make ourselves happy and do our best to make other's happy. Being happy is the best way to honor Faith.
Faith was the best thing to ever happen to me. I want to finish my time here living my life in this way, in honor of her name and what she represented. I will try my best to make her proud. I will try until my time on Earth is over and I get to see my baby again!
Shelly
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Holidays
Note to self: Do NOT go to a Candle Lighting Ceremony again! Since the ceremony, it has felt like we are right back to day after Faith left us.
Why are the Holidays so challenging people have asked? Why isn't it like any other day?
Well....here is the way I see it so far:
Of course, everyday is extremely challenging. Grief is all consuming, especially when it comes to grieving for your child. Not a day, not an hour goes by without that child coming into your thoughts. I have learned that this pain is never going to go away. I accept that. Now, it is trying to figure out a way for me to learn to live with this pain. I need to learn how to have the pain inside and still live each day to my fullest capabilities. I will never be the same person or have the life I used to have. That chapter is closed and I have to rewrite my story. It is up to me to start filling those pages. That is difficult to do when the pain is so intense. It is exhausting to put on this "front" of happiness. But that is exactly what the Holidays force you to do and why it is harder than any other day.
Holidays are supposed to be about giving, family and love. But the bottom line is that they are stressful. You have to shop, decorate, cook, etc. Your children expect certain things at this time of year and you have to make sure you do your best to provide that for them. So, during the Holidays you have to combine that stress with your grief. It is exhausting. But, you can't spend the day in bed because you have things to accomplish. You have to continue so you can make things nice for your family. Basically, you have to set your feelings aside and keep going.
I had a panic attack while Christmas shopping. I was unprepared for the overwhelming sense of sadness at seeing so many things that would remind me of Faith. I am putting all these things in my shopping cart to buy for my other children and I want so badly to put something in the cart for Faith. That is the difference between a Holiday and a "normal" day. On a normal day, I could just walk away from all of it. On a Holiday, I HAVE to face it.
During the Holidays you get beautiful cards from others. Normally, you are so happy to receive them. But, while you are grieving it is hard to look at these perfect looking families, where everyone is present, and not think of the Christmas card you did not send out because you would have someone missing in your picture. You can't send out those cheery letters, where your life sounds so perfect, because what could you possibly say?
So, those are some of the things that do make this time of year harder than a regular day. The Candle Lighting Ceremony was a set-back. I will not do it again. It re-opened all the wounds and brought our family back to those final moments. I was just starting to get those out of my mind and return to the happy memories. Watching my husband and children cry like they did when we were at the hospital was absolutely horrifying and I felt awful for putting them through that. I didn't know.
We honor Faith everyday in our house. We light a candle for her and our other loved ones that have passed, nightly. Christmas will be no exception. We will think of Faith, celebrate her and celebrate that we still have each other.
The new year is approaching. With the new year comes the fact that we still will continue to learn to live with this pain. We have a long way to go. However, with the New Year we will work on how to fill the new Chapter in our lives. We will work on filling those pages in Honor of Faith and what she stood for:
F = Family
A = Acceptance
I = Integrity
T= Trust
H= Happiness.
Why are the Holidays so challenging people have asked? Why isn't it like any other day?
Well....here is the way I see it so far:
Of course, everyday is extremely challenging. Grief is all consuming, especially when it comes to grieving for your child. Not a day, not an hour goes by without that child coming into your thoughts. I have learned that this pain is never going to go away. I accept that. Now, it is trying to figure out a way for me to learn to live with this pain. I need to learn how to have the pain inside and still live each day to my fullest capabilities. I will never be the same person or have the life I used to have. That chapter is closed and I have to rewrite my story. It is up to me to start filling those pages. That is difficult to do when the pain is so intense. It is exhausting to put on this "front" of happiness. But that is exactly what the Holidays force you to do and why it is harder than any other day.
Holidays are supposed to be about giving, family and love. But the bottom line is that they are stressful. You have to shop, decorate, cook, etc. Your children expect certain things at this time of year and you have to make sure you do your best to provide that for them. So, during the Holidays you have to combine that stress with your grief. It is exhausting. But, you can't spend the day in bed because you have things to accomplish. You have to continue so you can make things nice for your family. Basically, you have to set your feelings aside and keep going.
I had a panic attack while Christmas shopping. I was unprepared for the overwhelming sense of sadness at seeing so many things that would remind me of Faith. I am putting all these things in my shopping cart to buy for my other children and I want so badly to put something in the cart for Faith. That is the difference between a Holiday and a "normal" day. On a normal day, I could just walk away from all of it. On a Holiday, I HAVE to face it.
During the Holidays you get beautiful cards from others. Normally, you are so happy to receive them. But, while you are grieving it is hard to look at these perfect looking families, where everyone is present, and not think of the Christmas card you did not send out because you would have someone missing in your picture. You can't send out those cheery letters, where your life sounds so perfect, because what could you possibly say?
So, those are some of the things that do make this time of year harder than a regular day. The Candle Lighting Ceremony was a set-back. I will not do it again. It re-opened all the wounds and brought our family back to those final moments. I was just starting to get those out of my mind and return to the happy memories. Watching my husband and children cry like they did when we were at the hospital was absolutely horrifying and I felt awful for putting them through that. I didn't know.
We honor Faith everyday in our house. We light a candle for her and our other loved ones that have passed, nightly. Christmas will be no exception. We will think of Faith, celebrate her and celebrate that we still have each other.
The new year is approaching. With the new year comes the fact that we still will continue to learn to live with this pain. We have a long way to go. However, with the New Year we will work on how to fill the new Chapter in our lives. We will work on filling those pages in Honor of Faith and what she stood for:
F = Family
A = Acceptance
I = Integrity
T= Trust
H= Happiness.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Christmas 2009
Our first Christmas without Faith. Needless to say, it is hard not to be emotional. Everyday is challenging, however a Holiday is intended to recognize love and family. Because of that, it is a reminder that an extremely important member of our family is missing. It is hard to get into the spirit of Christmas. I have 7 boxes of Christmas decorations and I probably put out an equivelent of 1 box. But, my decorations are lovely because they are ones that are in memory of my mom and Faith. My mom loved poinsettia's so I have lots of those around and any decoration with the word Faith is scattered throughout the room. I also bought a tree that is Faith's height and primarily decorated it in gold. I found a beautiful yellow butterfly ornament that definitely makes it a "Faith tree". An angel that lights up in multiple colors sits at the top. So, I was able to find a way to recognize Christmas and incorporate the ones not here in physical form in a way that can actually make me smile.
We went to a Candle Lighting Ceremony through Compassionate Friends that will now be included as one of our Christmas traditions. It was a ceremony that was equally as beautiful as it was sad and it was nice to be with others that truly understand. It was such a special way to honor Faith and the rest of the child angels. I am hoping by formally honoring my Faith, it will give me some solace and because of that allow me to concentrate on making the rest of the season special for my other children.
At this Candle Lighting ceremony (that is done worldwide) to remember the children that left us to0 soon a man named Alan Pedersen sang this amazing song. Alan is a bereaved parent, also, who lost his daughter. Here are the lyrics to this special song:
Tonight I hold this candle
In memory of you
Hoping someway, somehow
My love will shine through
I close my eyes
Lost in the glow
There are so many things
I want you to know
This candle says I love you
This candle says I miss you
This candle is saying
I remember you
When I'm holding it toward heaven
It feels like you are near
If you're looking down tonight
And see this candle burning bright
It says I'm wishing you were here
In the glow of this candle
I can almost see you smile
And it carries me away
For a little while
To another time
Another place
When all it took to light up my world
Was your beautiful face
This candle says I love you
This candle says I miss you
This candle is saying
I remember you
When I'm holding it toward heaven
It feels like you are near
If you're looking down tonight
And see this candle burning bright
It says I'm wishing you were here
Someday, some way
I'll see you again
I'll hold you
In my heart
Until then....
I bought all of Alan's CD's and this is my personal favorite:
We got to know the magic of their smiles, if only for awhile.
Wasn't it beautiful?
They taught us how to love so deep, feel so complete.
Wasn't it wonderful?
Even if we knew that it would end,
If we had the chance we'd do it all again.
Lets Celebrate the Children. Celebrate our kids.
Celebrate the Children and remember that they lived.
(Chorus)
They are our Strength.
They are our Heroes.
They're our Angels now.
Let sorrow wait, lets celebrate.
They left so many gifts behind for each of us to find.
It's magical.
They're with us everyday, give help along the way.
It's Spiritual.
They're part of everything we say and do.
We're better people now because of them, it's true.
Celebrate the Children and send them our love.
Celebrate the Children looking down from up above.
(Chorus)
So fly butterfly. So long sweet balloon.
Float up through the clouds, somewhere beyond the moon.
Let them know we'll see them soon.
Celebrate the Children. Celebrate our kids.
Celebrate teh Children and remember that they lived.
(Chorus)
Celebrate the Children. Send them all our love.
Celebrate the Children they're looking down from up above.
(Chorus)
Oh Celebrate, Celebrate.
We got to know the magic of their smiles, if only for awhile.
Wasn't it Beautiful?
Enjoy the Holidays. Give lots of love to your family and give thanks for all that you have.
Shelly
We went to a Candle Lighting Ceremony through Compassionate Friends that will now be included as one of our Christmas traditions. It was a ceremony that was equally as beautiful as it was sad and it was nice to be with others that truly understand. It was such a special way to honor Faith and the rest of the child angels. I am hoping by formally honoring my Faith, it will give me some solace and because of that allow me to concentrate on making the rest of the season special for my other children.
At this Candle Lighting ceremony (that is done worldwide) to remember the children that left us to0 soon a man named Alan Pedersen sang this amazing song. Alan is a bereaved parent, also, who lost his daughter. Here are the lyrics to this special song:
Tonight I hold this candle
In memory of you
Hoping someway, somehow
My love will shine through
I close my eyes
Lost in the glow
There are so many things
I want you to know
This candle says I love you
This candle says I miss you
This candle is saying
I remember you
When I'm holding it toward heaven
It feels like you are near
If you're looking down tonight
And see this candle burning bright
It says I'm wishing you were here
In the glow of this candle
I can almost see you smile
And it carries me away
For a little while
To another time
Another place
When all it took to light up my world
Was your beautiful face
This candle says I love you
This candle says I miss you
This candle is saying
I remember you
When I'm holding it toward heaven
It feels like you are near
If you're looking down tonight
And see this candle burning bright
It says I'm wishing you were here
Someday, some way
I'll see you again
I'll hold you
In my heart
Until then....
I bought all of Alan's CD's and this is my personal favorite:
We got to know the magic of their smiles, if only for awhile.
Wasn't it beautiful?
They taught us how to love so deep, feel so complete.
Wasn't it wonderful?
Even if we knew that it would end,
If we had the chance we'd do it all again.
Lets Celebrate the Children. Celebrate our kids.
Celebrate the Children and remember that they lived.
(Chorus)
They are our Strength.
They are our Heroes.
They're our Angels now.
Let sorrow wait, lets celebrate.
They left so many gifts behind for each of us to find.
It's magical.
They're with us everyday, give help along the way.
It's Spiritual.
They're part of everything we say and do.
We're better people now because of them, it's true.
Celebrate the Children and send them our love.
Celebrate the Children looking down from up above.
(Chorus)
So fly butterfly. So long sweet balloon.
Float up through the clouds, somewhere beyond the moon.
Let them know we'll see them soon.
Celebrate the Children. Celebrate our kids.
Celebrate teh Children and remember that they lived.
(Chorus)
Celebrate the Children. Send them all our love.
Celebrate the Children they're looking down from up above.
(Chorus)
Oh Celebrate, Celebrate.
We got to know the magic of their smiles, if only for awhile.
Wasn't it Beautiful?
Enjoy the Holidays. Give lots of love to your family and give thanks for all that you have.
Shelly
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